ANGELAISMS (THROUGH 2016)
"Rob ... when are you going to write the book?"
Instead of a book, this website will be a collection of Ang's everyday comments that make you laugh, shake your head and then say ... "That one goes on the list!" ... Love my Angie P! Check back often, because there's always more Angelaisms to come! We hope you enjoy them as much as we do!
70. Right down your alley
When your daughter spends too much time with Ang ... you get a Kennedyism!
69. Short end of the pole
Sticks all over the world are upset that they have been replaced by Poles ... According to Ang that is!
68. Ang Finds Hotel Room
She does the same thing next to the buttons in a elevator ... Did I mention she CAN'T Read Braile
67. What is Pubic?
Not reading properly = Angelaism Magic!
66. Whore Magazine
Yes, the magazine was in a hotel lobby, and Ang says: Did you see that Whore Magazine?
I can't with her
65. I Like Those Costumes Much Better
Ang was referring to the baseball jerseys of the visiting team ... Thankfully they didn't have any masks or candy bags!
64. Do Peanuts Grow On Trees?
63. Falling Telephone Pole
Yes ... that's Ang holding up the "falling telephone pole" ... I can't with her
62. Pole Dancing ... Ang Style
Just a little insight on Ang ... and something KJ can share with her future therapist!
61. Swimming With The Sharks
Can someone please explain to Ang that swimming with any aquatic creature is a bad thing?
Your either being wacked or your someone's snack! See the below Facebook post and comments...
60. North America & South Africa
After speaking about a friend who recently passed away, we mentioned he was from Venezuela and while discussing the location of this country with Kennedy, Ang stated that located under the United States and Central America is ... South Africa.
(Hamilton Schools should be proud of their geography education).
Yes, Ang calls the type of wide-brimmed Mexican hat a Sabrett ... I wonder what she calls a Sabrett Hot Dog ... oh my!
58. Idolized Salt
We have two kinds of salt at the house, the course sea salt for cooking and the morton's for table salt, and the boxes are almost identical.
As I ask Pappy Phil where the small salt is - Ang says ...That's the one, the IDOLIZED SALT!
I'm glad she didn't break into song after that ... William Hung would have some competition.
57. Catch 42
a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions is normally called a Catch 22 ...
but with Ang, there's always more - 20 numbers higher plus almost double the peril of the original Catch 22.
In her defense, Nurse Nancy and Ang were trying to figure out the number of the phrase, and here's the conversation...
Catch 42, no 32, hold on ... Catch 23 ... It was Catch 42?
Thankfully a serving of frozen corn isn't deep enough to choke myself out ... I know because I tried after this conversation!
56. Alter Native
After reviewing the arrangements for my friend's at sea burial ...
Ang is reading the form about the service over my shoulder:
Ang: Sea Burial - A Dignified Alter Native (that's how she said it)
Rob: What? How about Alternative?
Ang: Let me write it down, that doesn't seem right - (after writing down the word "Alternative" on a piece of paper)
"Nope - Alternative is right"
55. Limone Is Lemon In Spanish
At lunch at Brio (the Italian Tuscan Grille restaurant) and Kennedy asks, what is Limone?
Ang says ... Limone is lemon in Spanish (Never mind the Italian recipe of chicken with lemon and capers)
While at Brio for lunch...
Dylan and KJ order their own food, and they are well mannered, quite proper and respectful. \
After Dylan ordered his Chicken Limone, Rob says to Dylan ... "You sound like a real Aristocrat when you order like that"
Ang says: Wasn't that the movie about the Cats
10 seconds later: Hold on, I'm sure of it ...
30 seconds later (after checking Google) and understanding Rob was referring to Dylan sounding like a real high society person,
she says: Yep, your right ... add it to the List (the Angelisms!)
53. She Did A Real 680
Speaking about a person who has made a turnaround in their life, Ang says: "She made a real 680 in her life"
Since a complete circle is 360 degrees (two circles would be 720 Degrees) ... She's almost where she started from and probably really dizzy!
52. I Love The Testicles
At dinner with Auntie Jule and Uncle Bob is never boring...
Our calamari appetizer arrives - and as Jule holds the plate andasks Ang if she wants some calamari, Ang replies ... "Yes, I Love The Testicles"
Please note in the photo below, taken 4 seconds after the Angelaism, (which is the time it takes for me to say OMG and then grab my phone)
1) The horror of the Ang's face as she realizes what she said
2) And the sheer embarrassment of Dylan (hanging is head, hiding his face & drying his laughing tears!)
Yes, Ang ... even your 10 year old son knows the difference of the tentacle of calamari and a human body part!
51. Sharpest Knife In The Pan
When discussing a person we know who isn't the smartest person, Ang says: She's not the sharpest knife in the pan
I don't even know what to say about this.
50. That's Weird Since I Just Had My Stomach Done
In March, Ang had a tummy tuck, and the other day while discussing what caused her heartburn with a co-worker, Ang says: I shouldn't have any stomach issues ... I just had half of it removed!
Can someone explain to Ang that a tummy tuck operation doesn't have anything to do with the digestive track? On second thought ... I don't want to generate any more unsolicited Angelaisms! Just let it go and enjoy!
49. I Just Put On My Regamin
Saturday morning, the kids and I are watching TV in my bed ... and Ang put some kind of moisturizing beauty product thing on her face, and when KJ asks her what she is doing, Ang says: I Just Put On My Regamin!
I was unaware that a number of healthy beauty steps to care for you face was available in a single cream.
48. Can Of Worms
Vin Scully once said during his broadcast of Brooklyn Dodgers' game ...
“on a 3-2 curve ball Pee Wee Reese hit a pop fly into short right field - it’s a can of corn.”
The phrase relates to an old-time grocer’s method of getting canned goods down from a high shelf. Using a stick with a hook on the end, a grocer could tip a can so that it would fall for an easy catch in his apron. In the very early days of baseball, the outfield was called the “corn field.” Especially in early amateur baseball the outfield may have been a farm field.
So at the Thunder Game, what does Ang call this routine pop up? ... CAN OF WORMS
47. Slow Pox
When you feeling sluggish and not moving that fast, Ang would call you a slow pox!
Maybe the Angelaisms are a side effect of chicken pox as a child!
46. Cow Bell
Won't the cow on the left be pissed off when ...
Ang constantly refers to the exercise weight known as the kettle bell (image on right) as a COW BELL.
(Won't the cow on the left side of the image be pissed off to find Farmer John trying to strap a 5 pound kettle bell to its neck!)
45. Ethan Hawke Shorts
Ang and Dill were trying on last year's summer clothes ... and after they were done, Ang comes downstairs and tells me:
I can't get over how quick Dylan has grown. He outgrew all of his Ethan Hawke shorts.
(FYI - Ethan Hawke doesn't have a clothing line, but Tony Hawk does)
44. Abacus Is A Mythological Creature
After Easter Dinner, a Wiffle Ball game broke out...
The teams were Mr. Mike and myself versus Dylan and Mikey (and Ang, KJ, Auntie Jule and Bongo were the spectators).
After the game started, the kids were having a hard time tracking the score, so Bongo grabbed a few rocks to keep score\
So called him Mr. Abacus (referring to the Chinese calculating tool)
Here comes the magic... Ang says: Wasn't Abacus a Mythological Creature?
and the follow up to that comment 10 minutes later: Spartacus was Abacus' Brother, right?
43. Yogi Bear
Easter was a busy day for Ang and her ISMS, so the Easter Bunny wasn't the only one who delivered.
I was watching the movie "42" about Jackie Robinson right before and during Easter breakfast, and here's the conversation between myself and Ang:
Ang: Do you think Jackie Robinson was the greatest player ever?
Rob: He was groundbreaking but I'm not sure how he would match up against the likes of Cy Young, Ty Cobb, Willis Mays, Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig ...
Ang: Yogi Bear also?
(a partially chewed hard boiled egg might have been split across the room)
42. Kill A Stone With 2 Birds
The Magic Never Ends...
41. Just For Heels
Standing outside the back of the cheesecakes store, Ang looks at this truck and says: "Just For Heels? I wonder where that store is?" Really?
40. It's Like Dust Outside
Yes, the part of day described as the darkest stage of twilight in the evening is called DUST!
You better break out those protective goggles when the sun goes down!
39. Hansel and Gretchen
Dylan dropped his crayons when leaving the shop and left a trail from the back office to the front of the shop.
Ang says: Dylan, what are you like Hansel & Gretchen?
Maybe we can send Ang into the woods to find out what happened to Gretel!
38. Ang's Fortune Cookie
After last night's dinner, Ang texted me the fortune from her fortune cookie (see below) ... she loves words so much, she even starts making up her own!
(I guess it's a higher power calling for the Angelaisms - Volume 1 Book ... and we all know that fortune cookies are totally accurate! - LOL) ... Love you Angie P!
37. Ben Franklin & The Ang Effect
Rob took Dylan to Franklin Institute in PA for a 4th grade field trip.
While we were talking about our trip at the dinner table ...
Kennedy says: Did You See That Big Statue of Abraham Lincoln? (The photo of statue is below)
Rob: "You Mean Ben Franklin? ... like in the Franklin Institute?"
Kennedy: "First Of All, I Spend A Lot Of Time With Mommy & Second ... The Angelaisms Might Be Rubbing Off On Me!"
36. Dying From Amoxicillin
Contributed by Kyle Thornton - Posted 12/16/2014
I get this text from our friend Kyle:
Hey your wife was standing in the exhaust of her car talking outside of my house and said, "Holy shit, I'm going to die from amoxicillin!"
I don't even know where to go with this . . . just speechless!
35. Nice Atlas
Rob took Dylan to the Franklin Institute and got him the below item from the gift shop:
Ang saw it today and said: "That's A Nice Atlas!"
Rob: "You mean globe right?"
Ang: "Oh Man!" ... As Rob Grabs the "Atlas" To Photo For Angelaism #35
Dylan: (shouts from the other room) "Hey Mom, That's A Globe & An Atlas Is A Collections Of Maps!"
Thankfully, the apple landed in a completely different forest from Ang!
34. Spinner In The House
There's a house located behind our home that has been abandoned for a few years, and is visible from our backyard. Last night, we thought we saw a single light in the house.
Ang: "Do you see that light in the house? I hope there's no spinners in there!"
Rob: "What's A Spinner? (I know what the term means, but have no idea what she thinks it means)
Ang: "You know, when people break into a house and live in there when the house is vacant."
Rob: "You Mean Squatters, right?"
Ang: "You Know What I Mean"
(I do know what that means ... a fresh Angelaism for all to enjoy!)
33. Muku Bucks
She has a new client at the law firm, and it looks like the case is going to take a long time (a probably cost a lot of money)
Ang says: "I Hope He Has Muku Bucks!"
32. Some Ang Pole Dancing
Maybe she can practice her dancing skills at home ... and not on the corner on Halloween Night in front of the neighborhood kids!
31. This Turkey Body Part Is?
Angelaism from 11/2/2014 - Posted 11/3/2014
According to Ang, the body part indicated with the yellow arrow below is the ... The Turkey's Tongue - OMG
30. How Newton Discovered Gravity
Angelaism from ???? - Posted 10/29/2014
Every Good Angelaisms Starts With ... "Ang is helping Kennedy with her homework ..."
... and the subject of study is Science. Kennedy was learning about the earth and the moon. I was in the room and added some information about the differences in gravity and told her how Newton allegedly got hit in the head with something, that helped him make the discovery of gravity.
(It's true that Newton watching an apple fall out of a tree did get him wondering about gravity, but the hit in the head with the apple is Urban Legend).
"So I said to KJ ... "What do you think he got hit in the head with?
Ang chimes in: "He Got Hit With A Meteorite!"
(Maybe Ang can call Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to land a space shuttle on top of that bad boy and start drilling into it!)
Oh Shit Newton, Look Out ... Incoming!
29. Who Brought The Jungle Gym?
Angelaism from 2007 - Posted 10/29/2014
Ang & Family Reunions Always Produce Great Angelaisms! Her family reunion in Nanty Glo, PA, near Johnstown. Nanty Glo was a small mining town in the early 1900's, with the mines closing in 1980. The reunion was being held at the Park And Pool in town, a public park area with picnic facilities. Everyone brought some activities to the reunion, so the kids would have something to do. As we enter the park, we see a huge play area in the park ... I don't have an actual photo, but the Jungle Gym was a little larger than this:
Ang sees it and says: "Who Brought The Jungle Gym?"
Angelaism from ???? - Posted 10/29/2014
The Green Display Herbs On Plate Is Called ... GARLAND
(I can't wait to try to string these & then decorate my Christmas Tree!)
The Enveloping Outer Garment Worn By Women In Some Islamic Traditions To Cover Their Bodies When In Public are called ... PERKA
26. WHITE T-SHIRT CONTEST
This Spring Break, Rite Of Passage Event Is Known As ...WHITE T-SHIRT CONTEST
Forks, Knives & Spoons Are Called ... CUTTERY
24. THE ATLANTIC SEA
Atlantic Sea - OMG
23. PHEASANT SKIRTS
Angelaism from Mexico - Posted 10/29/2014
The style of clothing modeled below - featuring long, full skirts ... Pheasant Skirts
Ang pronounces like the bird, not like the poor villager
the European budget-oriented, sociable accommodation where guests can rent a bed ... HOSTILE
I think Hostile is when Ang finds out they have to all share a bathroom
21. Plymouth Rock Was On The Mayflower
Angelaism from ???? Posted 10/29/2014
"The Pilgrims Had This Rock On The Mayflower?"
It's actually the boulder on which the Mayflower pilgrims first stepped when disembarking, but don't tell Ang and ruin it for her!
20. WHOLEMADE MEATBALLS
Angelaism from 2006 - Posted 10/29/2014
This Italian Food Classic: WHOLEMADE Meatballs
Angelaism from ???? - Posted 10/29/2014
This Yankee Player's Nickname: ARAB
Look at his reaction .... I think he just heard Ang's nickname!
18. I Can't Believe That Girl Is Wearing The Same Shirt As Me!
Angelaism from 2009 - Posted 10/27/2014 - Courtesy of Nicole Blosser
Thanks to Nicole for this Angelaism that we all forgot!
"At our family reunion, a bunch of us were hanging out a bar, and Ang is sitting at the bar, in front of the beer tap system, which has a mirrored finish.
During the night, she points to her reflection, turns to Nicole and says: I Can't Believe That Girl Is Wearing The Same Shirt As Me!
Nicole says: That girl IS you! ... Our crew erupts in laughter!
17. Lockless Monster
Angelaism from 2008 - Posted 10/25/2014
We Were Talking About Scotland and this Mysterious Creature was brought up:
Yep - The Lockless Monster - It works out well, as he has no pockets for his house keys anyway.
16. Someone In Your House Is Dressed Just Like Me
Angelaism from December 2006 - Posted 10/25/2014
Auntie Jule Just Bought A New House ... So We Went To Check It Out.
Her ranch home has a long main hallway, with a huge mirror at the end of it, visible from the kitchen. (Here's a photo of Auntie Jule in the hallway in question...)
As we are talking in kitchen area, Ang notices something and says:
Did you know someone in the house is dressed like me?
Ang had found a new friend ... her reflection!
15. Double Vasectomy
Angelaism from 2011 - Posted 10/25/2014
Ang was telling me about a woman who just went through a successful cancer surgery and said:
Due to her breast cancer, she needed to have a Double Vasectomy, but she is doing well.
... disconnecting her testicles might indicate another issue.
Angelaism from 10/24/2014 - Posted 10/25/2014
This is what Ang believes is the student having the highest academic achievements of the class
I'm not much for valet parking but if you have to ... it might as well be the smartest kids in your high school graduating class.
Angelaism from 10/25/2014 - Posted 10/25/2014
This is what happens when you combine ...
1) The latest West African disease 2) Bacteria Infected Meat 3) The Angelaism Thought Process
Not Ebola ... Not E. Coli ... But Eboli!
12. The Hamilton Hookers
Angelaism from 1980-1981 - Posted 10/23/2014 - Courtesy of Erin Wingerter Brooks
Welcome To The First Write-In Angelaism Contribution from Erin Wingerter Brooks - Here it is!
When Ang and I were 8 years old and starting our competitive soccer team, we were all trying to come up with team names.
Angela's idea was the Hamilton Hookers. Her argument was that we can "really hook the ball" ...
For some reason, the parents did not think that 8 year old girls should be called Hookers. They settled on Honeybees, but for the record, I liked hookers better!
Thanks Erin (Ang was dishing out gems, even at 8 years old!)
11. Do You Think Nutella Contains Nuts?
Angelaism from 10/22/2014 - 7:31pm - Posted 10/22/2014 - 7:33 pm
Yes - This happened 2 minutes before I posted ...
Ang is sitting at the Kitchen Table, eating this item, WITH THE CONTAINER IN FRONT OF HER:
And says: "Do you think Nutella contains nuts?"
And as the fear of her own Angelaism kicked in, as I ran to my computer to post!
10. Pirates Dressed Like Pirates?
Angelaism from 2009 (Posted 10/22/2014)
The TV Is Always On At The Foti House ... Even At Dinner Time -
In 2009, the lead story on the news was frequently about the Somali Pirates who were hijacking ships. We were all talking about the news story and then Ang says:
"Do The Pirates Dress Like Pirates?"
Pappy, Nana and myself burst into laughter ... it might have been the funniest Angelaism reaction ever!
the text on the photo below was my response:
9. Wooly Elephant
Angelaism from 2012 (Posted 10/22/2014)
Yes ... Not A Wooly Mammoth ... But A Wooly Elephant - (shaking my head)
8. Mob House
Angelaism from 2011 (Posted 10/22/2014)
Ang, Auntie Jule and myself wanted to see first hand what Walmart looked like on Thanksgiving night ... The parking lot is crazy and when we get in the store, it looked like a scene out of a disaster movie ... people packed in, fighting over cheap tv and dvd players ... a war zone for sure!
We ran out of the store, got in the car ... happy to get away unscathed - and as we discussed how insane people are, Ang blurts out: "That Store Was A Real Mob House"
(I hope she meant mob scene ... if not, I'm scared)
Angelaism from ???? (Posted 10/22/2014)
Yes ... Ang calls a shopping cart a buggy! If she lived in the deep south ... maybe but I'm just worried she will try to hook up a horse to it!
6. Fruit Strip Gum
Angelaism from 10/20/2014 (Posted 10/21/2014)
No matter how many times last night that Rob & Betty told Ang ... that the Fruit Stripe Gum name has an "E" at the end, she refused to buckle.
Yes ... It's "Fruit Strip Gum" in Ang's world!
Angelaism from 2013 (Posted 10/20/2014)
Dylan enters the fray ... our baby boy doesn't say much ... Hold on, did I just say Dylan doesn't say much? When Dylan was 2 years old, he didn't say a word ... beside "ahhch" ... (I still don't know what that means). We worried about him not speaking, and then 1 month after that and ever day for the last 7 years, he's never at a loss for words. And he falls sleep twenty seconds intoa car trip (that's important to the story!)
Back to the Angelaism ... We all love Walmart and when we let the kids know where we're going, Ang will say: "We're going to Walmarts"
I guess Ang was absent for the whole "S" makes a word plural lesson at school, but Dylan sure didn't - Dylan must have had enough ... because as we pulled up to the Walmart, Ang calls out to Dylan to wake him up in the back seat saying: "Dylan, We're Here At Walmarts"
Dylan's reply: "Mom ... it's not Walmarts because we aren't going to more than one Walmart store!"
She still calls it Walmarts to this day ... OK, Angelaism over - got run over to Targets right now!! Love my Angie P!
Angelaism from 2011 (Posted 10/20/2014)
Let me set the stage ... Ang comes home from work and tells Kennedy that she will quiz her on her reading assignment. While Kennedy is reading the assignment at the kitchen table, Ang gets changed and comes back down and takes the book and begin to question Kennedy: Where do Orangetums originate from?
I am seated at my kitchen island, working with my back to the kitchen table, and actually kinda turn my head and say to myself ... "What the hell is an orangetum?" but then continue working.
Now Kennedy has a 3 mile stare ... that classic "Deer In The Headlights" look and says nothing to Ang for about 30 seconds...
Ang says: I told you to read the passage. You have a test tomorrow and we need to study! Where do Orangetums originate from?"
Kennedy pauses and calmly says: It's not Orangetums Mom ... it's Orangutans
Angelaism from 3/21/2009 (Posted 10/19/2014)
Here' s your first Multi-Media Angelaism - We're visiting her cousin Karen in West Virginia (or she says cousant) and after arriving there, we used the downstairs bathroom. Here's a photo of the actual towels in the bathroom:
I see the towels, read the lettering and leave the bathroom. Ang goes in right after me. Once she leaves the bathroom, she sees Karen in the kitchen and says:
What does Padry mean? As I start laughing, Karen says: "It's OK Ang, I speak your language"
2. Jesus Is The Brother Of God
Angelaism from 2010 (Posted 10/19/2014)
Ang was home schooling Kennedy for CCD ... that's the first problem - It sounds like a good idea ... until I hear Ang going over one of the worksheets in book.
The question was who was Jesus?... and I guess you know her answer - The Brother of God (a legendary answer at that)
As I burst out in laughter, I scrambled to enroll KJ into the next available CCD class! - Now step back from your computer, as I don't want you to get struck by lightning!
1. Horse Painted Like A Zebra
Angelaism from 2006 (Posted 10/19/2014)
Which Angelaism goes first?
I say the story that almost makes you fall off of the couch from the "Saturday Afternoon" laying down position should be number #1.
Let me take you back to 2006 ... Kennedy was still very young (about 3 or 4), and on a lazy afternoon, she was watching the movie Racing Stripes...the 2005 movie about an abandoned zebra that believes he is a racehorse, and sets out to achieve his dream of racing with thoroughbreds. Kennedy really didn't like the movie very much...but that remote control was at least 8 inches away and who wants to strain themselves on a Saturday afternoon. So we continued to watch the movie in Zombie Mode (not really watching or enjoying, but not not disliking enough to change the channel or smash the remote control).
After about 20 minutes of watching the movie, Ang says: "Isn't it amazing how they painted that horse to look like a zebra?"
I couldn't even believe Ang would said that, and thought she was kidding. So after waiting about 1 minute for a follow up joke, I said:
"You kidding right?" She says: "It looks just like a zebra, doesn't it?"
and then the fear of comment (or Angelaism) instantly clicked in. I said: "That's because it's actually a zebra"
Love you Angie P!